Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Carrie Nation: Firebrand In More Than One Place

Carrie Nation was a firebrand later in life. But in 1876, she was only a beginner and didn't know quite what she was going on and what men were actually capable of doing. She thought nothing of destroying private property and the fact that Jesus had turned water into wine at a wedding party and thus must have approved of the evil drink. She only cared about what she wanted.


Her first experience at rampaging through a saloon didn't go quite as planned. She may be a firebrand when it comes to protesting the evils of the demon drink. But she's about to feel a firebrand in another place.
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Carrie bursts through the saloons doors, her eyes go from one patron to the next and finally they land on the bartender. She has a bible in her hand and is waving it around in the air. "Thou art a destroyer of families and a sin unto god." She yelled at the bartender.

A young cowboy and ranch hand by the name of Porter Johnson is standing against the bar sipping on his whiskey. He hasn't paid one iota of notice of her. He's more interested in getting his fill and then going up to the whorehouse for a quickie.

Carrie slaps the whiskey out of Porters hand. "Evil must be met with force. Thou shalt not drink. Get home to your wife."

Porter wasn't married and even if he was he wasn't going to listen to that. She shouldn't even be in a saloon. Ladies don't enter saloons, whores maybe, but never a lady.

The glass flies across the room and hits against the far wall, breaking and spilling its contents. Porter looks at Carrie, then to the bartender. "Another shot Wilber."

The bartender turns and gets him another whiskey. Carrie grabs it and throws it the full length of the bar. Porter steps back. "Another shot Whilber."

The bartender again turns to get another shot for Porter.

This time before the bartender can put the glass down; Porter grabs Carrie by the arm and drags her over to a chair. "Get your hands off of me. You’re hurting my arm. God will punish you for your foolishness."

Porter sits down in a chair and before she realizes what's going on, Carrie finds herself over this stranger’s knee. "What are you doing? Get your hands off me."

Porter puts his left hand over Carries waist and starts to lift the back of her dress. Normally he wouldn't do this to a lady. But he can see that she's no lady. "No. Wait. Let go of my dress. What are you doing?"

Carrie Nation is laying there over this cowboy’s knee. "No wait." She yells again.

With his right hand he spreads apart the opening in the back of her pantaloons, revealing a large and plump backside. "Oh my god, no. This just isn't right."

Swat. "OOOOOO." Swat. "OOOOOO. No. No. Let me up this instant." Swat. "OOOOOO." Swat. "OOOOOO."

As Porter spanks Carrie, she looks around at the other cowboys. "In god’s name someone stop this humiliation. I don't deserve this."

Swat. "OOOOOO." Swat. "OOOOOO. Pleeeease stop this." Swat. "OOOOOO."

Porter says nothing to her. He knows that she deserves it and should have a husband who did it regularly. He can see that she is in need of a firm hand and a man who knows how to use one.

Swat. "OOOOOO." Swat. "OOOOOO. Stooooop. Stooooop." Swat. "OOOOOO." Swat. "OOOOOO."

Carrie is crying. She's never been beaten like this in her life. Not even her drunken husband did anything this awful to her.

"Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo."

Swat. "OOOOOO." Swat. "OOOOOO." Swat. "OOOOOO."

Carrie's spanking over, Porter lets go of her. She gets up off his knee and runs from the saloon. Leaving her bible on the floor where it had fallen. She can hear all the cowboys laughing at her humiliation.

As Porter steps up to the bar, one of the other cowboys slaps him on the back. "Good work Porter." The cowboy looks to the bartender. "Wilber, another round for Porter, on me."

Porter picks up his latest whiskey and downs it. Wilber fetches his drink.

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