Friday, September 12, 2008

Cinema Friday - Please Sir (1968-1972 - Television Series)


Opening Credits To Please Sir

Sites Of Interest:

British TV Comedy
Classic Telly: Your Tributes to Great TV Shows
Internet Movie Database
TV.Com - Please Sir - Student Princess


The television show Please Sir seems to have been ripped off and made into a American television series. to be the impetus for the show Welcome Back Kotter (1975-1979), as it came before and has the same basic themes. The television series Room 222, doesn't seem to be that much like Please Sir, but could be as it ran from 1969-1978 and started the year after Please Sir.

But all three series, seem to have been a rip off of the series Up The Down Staircase 1967. Which came from the book, Up The Down Staircase, which is a humorous novel written by Bel Kaufman, and published in 1965.

Plot Summery:

John Alderton (Bernard Hedges) is a new teacher at tough inner city school Fenn Street. He has to try and educate the mini skirted and uneducatable Class 5C. Bernard is surprised when he finds out that the new trainee teacher is an old girlfriend. Bernard Hedges (John Alderton) turns Ann Collins (Gay Hamilton), the new trainee student teacher, over his knee and gives her a couple of swats on the back of her dress. He is interrupted when the class comes running into the classroom, when they hear her screeches.

My Scenario:

Bernard sits down on the edge of his desk. "Bloody students, Bloody women."

Ann Collins enters the classroom. "Bernard why did you send my kids down to the gym?"

He crosses his arms. "Your kids, my kids."

He stands up and walks away from his desk about three feet. "Oh so you've adopted them, have you."

"You know my girl, I'm not above tanning your backside." He then walks over to the corner and picks up a 3 foot long school pointer."

He then walks back to Ann. "Tan my backside." Her hand goes over the back of her dress, palm out.

"Thank you, I think I will."

He grabs her and before she can react, turns her over the edge of the teachers desk. "What do you think you're doing. I'm not one of you're students. I'm a teacher here."

Holding her squirming body down, he reaches down and lifts the back of her dress. Revealing the cutest backside they're is. He panties are small and her ass cheeks can be seen, plain as day. Lilly white and gleaming in the inflorescent lights. "Get your hands off me, you brute."

Swish. Crack. "Yeeeeeeowch." Swish. Crack. "Yeeeeeeowch. Bernard Hedges, Stop this indignity, this instant." Swish. Crack. "Yeeeeeeowch." Swish. Crack. "Yeeeeeeowch. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it." Swish. Crack. "Yeeeeeeowch."

At this point the students come running into the classroom. They stop short when they see their teach caning another teacher. One of the boys yells. "Sir, go for it."

One of the girls yells. "Oh god, that poor dear. I know exactly what she's going through. He caned me just last week."

Bernard Hedges stops the beating of Ann Collins and he looks up at the students. "Didn't I send the lot of you down to the gym. If any of you are still here when I'm through with Miss Collins, I'll give you a taste of this." He then swishes the cane through the air a few times. Swish. Swish. Swish.

Off course, all the students leave. That is except for Toni, the girl who said he had caned her last week.

Swish. Crack. "Yeeeeeeowch." Swish. Crack. "Yeeeeeeowch."

Ann has broken down and is only crying and screeching out in pain. "Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo."

Swish. Crack. "Yeeeeeeowch." Swish. Crack. "Yeeeeeeowch." Swish. Crack. "Yeeeeeeowch."

When Bernard stops beating Ann's backside, she stands up and still crying rubs her backside. Both Bernard and Ann look over at Toni. Standing there watching. Ann grabs the cane from Bernard and goes after Toni, the 17 year old 6th former.

The last we see of the two of them is Ann chasing Toni down the hallway, making contact with her backside, with the cane. Toni isn't crying as Ann was, she's giggling. She thinks it's a hoot.

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